Fixing It

It was a quiet for a few days and Demaren was in an even worse mood, if that were possible, since having to walk. Once we hit the forrest, he didn't attempt to lead, leaving me to determine our path.
After leaving the coastal breezes, the air turned muggy. Everything in the forest was wet and slippery. When I walked beside Friend to let him rest, I often found myself clutching the saddle so I wouldn't slip and fall on my face. Friend had not been happy with the change of events that brought on an oppressive silence almost as heavy the steamy air. He tried to get things resolved in little ways, shoving me into Demaren's side at odd moments and such.
One of the first times Friend pulled this trick, I collided face first with Demaren's chest which was little softer than the damp bark on the tall trees around us. Only a hundred times warmer. He caught me easily, his arms wrapping around me and his wings unfurling slightly to keep us both balanced.
"You idiot!" I shouted at Friend, steadying myself against Demaren. "What is wrong with you?"
"Maybe he's in league with the forest beasts," Demaren teased.
My head snapped up to look at him with wide eyes. We hadn't talked in half a day. I smiled hoping he was over what ever was bothering him.
"He IS the forest beast," I countered, tilting my head back to grin up at him.
Demaren smiled down at me as if nothing were wrong for a moment. Then his grip tightened on my arms, and his face slipped back into the cautious mask he'd taken to wearing. He let me go and moved decisively away. I watched him wander forward and felt my face crumple. The problem obviously lied with me.
Friend gave a sharp snort of agitation. I glared at him and he ignored me by taking a bite of near by vegetation.
The only thing that hadn't changed between Demaren and I was that he still slept with me tucked under his wing, like a protective parent.
I relished the contact. Sometimes I would pretend to fall asleep, so that Demaren's breathing became steady, long, and even, and press my face into his feathers. They were gloriously soft, like Demaren only a few days ago. The cushy things smelled like him, lightly sweet and comforting.
The silence lengthened between us. As I lay in his wing, I listened to Demaren breathe. I was sure he was asleep. I pressed my face to his wing, stroking the feathers with my hand, and cried quietly.
I didn't know what was wrong but I was sure he didn't want to be here. Even though I didn't have an exact idea about many things right now, I didn't want him to leave. Whatever else happened at this point, I hardly imagined myself without Demaren. It was like with Friend, I could just leave him. I didn't want to.
I wiped my face on the linen sleeve of the dress Nieta had given to me. The light color was turning more dark with wear and the wet of the rain forest. I pulled the tie out of my hair and shook out the curling tendrils, which were now growing close to the middle of my back, and pulled the locks in front of my face. I felt like hiding and I didn't want Demaren to wake up first and see that I had been crying.
Green light filtered down through the thick forest canopy then through my living feather bed. With the dense foliage and never ending drizzle of rain, it seemed like we were in a perpetual twilight. I blinked awake, moving my hair out of my eyes to find Demaren still fast asleep. With little effort I slipped from his wing and stretched without waking him or Friend. I looked around our little dark camp, contemplating breakfast.
We hadn't had a fire in days. With the perpetual drops from the tree tops and the humid atmosphere there wasn't much dry wood to be found. I wondered if Demaren would like a hot meal as much as I would. Maybe it would brighten his mood.
With careful steps, I tip-toed away from the little clearing into the towering trees. I wanted to have food ready by the time he woke, but my search for dry wood was a futile one. Within twenty minutes I was soaked through (as I had been for several days) sure that I wouldn't find anything dry in the area. I sighed and tilted my face up to the falling mist, letting the water cool me. I didn't mind my clothes being wet, it helped to keep me from sweating to death.
With another sigh I turned back to camp, my wet skirt swishing around my ankles. I hadn't gone more than a few yards when a crashing sound approached from in front of me. It wasn't such a loud sound, actually, but after the relative quiet of the forest it was startling.
Demaren crashed out of the trees in front of me with Friend close on his tail. His eyes were wild and sparkling, as if he were looking for something to attack. I took a step back, his intensity catching me off guard. His eyes took me in, darting this way and that before his stance relaxed and he frowned heavily. Friend made his way over, snuffling at my arms and shoulders.
"Good morning," I said, smiling uncertainly, my hand went out automatically to pat Friend.
"Where were you?!" he all but shouted at me.
I shrunk back a step, my eyes wide. "I-I was looking for fire wood--"
"Then where is the fire wood?" he snapped.
"I... Well. Since the rain--I could find any!" I shouted back, my hands clenched into fists. I was getting a little fed up with his strange behavior.
"Wha... Why the hell would you wonder off on your own! You're the one that said there was monstrous beasts waiting in the trees--"
"We haven't even seen one!" I said, but he continued.
"--go tramping off into the forest. Oh! Look at me! I'm a tasty little girl, COME EAT ME!"
My mouth moved, but no words were coming out. I shook my head to clear it.
"I'm not a little girl!"
He looked at me critically and took his hand to measure me against him. My head barely made the middle of his chest.
"So I'm vertically challenged! That doesn't make me a child!"
He stooped a little and pointed at me, completely serious. "But you are little!"
I stopped again, my mouth hanging open before it closed with an audible snap.
He went on, not seeming to notice, and he turned away in frustration as he spoke. "But that's not the point! Do you have any idea how worried I was?!"
My eyes widened now and I blinked as he came at me again.
"Stop throwing yourself into danger!" he had me by the shoulders now.
He looked at me intensely, eyes burning into mine. My feet were almost off the forest floor; I could hear Friend making plaintive noises to the side, as if trying to calm us down. One tear trickled down my cheek, followed by another. I was crying.
Demaren's eyes took in my face, his eyes widening as he let me go and stepped back.
"I knew it!" I said.
"K-knew what?" he said, completely disarmed by my tears.
"It's my fault that you're angry!" I sniffed, covering my face with my hands.
"Well..." he said, weighing his words. "Yeah. You went off into the forest alone!"
"No!--I mean, yes. But. That's not what I meant!" I looked at him now, not bothering to wipe away the stream of tears. "You've been angry with me since before the Veil! Whatever it is, it's my fault!"
"Angry? N-no! I wasn't angry! I was... I was just trying... to figure out h-how to fix some stuff!" he finally said, looking horror struck at my accusation.
Well, that was just great. I'd spent the last few days tormenting myself over the possibility that I had somehow offended him. Now I was back to being clueless as to what was wrong.
I choked on a sob. "W-well, did you figure it o-out?"
"Um. I think so," he said warily.
"Good!" I shouted, crying angrily now. "Then try fixing these!"
I pointed at my face, to the seemingly endless drops of tears that forced their way out of my eyes when I desperately wanted them to stay.
Demaren looked taken aback for a moment, like I'd said something completely unexpected. Then he straightened and his jaw locked in determination. I thought he was going to get angry again, but he took a step forward. With both hands he cupped my face firmly between his palms. And kissed me.
My tears stopped immediately.
I was so surprised I merely stood there, my eyes wide. Unconsciously, my eyes started to close, my lips moving with his. A tingling sensation started in my toes and ran up the back of my legs into my head. Dizzily, my hands came up to steady myself against his bare chest.
Demaren stopped kissing me suddenly, pulling away as he leaned back to take in my reaction. I blinked up at him, my lips slightly parted from where we left off. Why had he stopped? Uncertainly, I leaned in a little, almost on tip-toe...
"Better?" he asked, he voice rattling in his chest. He cleared his throat slightly.
I nodded, confused, letting my fingers fall away from his skin. Had he only kissed me to stop my crying? You didn't just kiss somone without liking them, did you?
Looking around, Demaren frowned a little. "Good," he said finally. "Don't get lost. Again."
I rolled back onto my heels, trying to read his expression, but he turned away then and we went back to the campsite. Friend walked next to me, butting me with his soft nose comfortingly though I didn't know what he was trying to tell me. I stared at Demaren's back, his wings folded neatly. I had the most intense urge to kiss the line between where the top of his wings met and up his spine to the nape of his neck.
I bit my lip and clenched at Friend's reigns instead.
Night seemed to come swiftly. Though Demaren and I hardly talked for the rest of the day, it wasn't the strained, loaded silence I'd experienced before. Friend settled in next to the coals we managed to light and I leaned up against him. Though I normally slept next to Demaren (at his insistence) I didn't want to make him uncomfortable.
He looked over at me suddenly.
"Are you going to sleep?" he asked.
I nodded, looking at him from under my eyelashes.
Coming over immediately, he sat down next to me. I bolted upright, wondering if he wanted to talk. Instead he leaned in close and wrapped a wing around me.
"Goodnight," he said quietly, leaning us back against Friend until I couldn't see his face easily.
His feathers brushed up against my skin, and I sighed at the touch. He smelled lightly sweet, as always. Since he obviously wasn't going to kiss me again, I did the next best thing.
Turning toward him, I snuggled into his side and wrapped an arm around his middle. Demaren was very still for a moment, and I was suddenly afraid I had gone too far. Then his arm slid around me and tucked me to his side securely.
I'll take what I can get, I thought.